When you can’t have a beer in front of you, you might as well have a beer ON the front of you. I came across a small collection of Guinness shirts that celebrate everyone’s favorite “meal in a glass.” They’re done in a vintage style, and some of them are adult slim fits, meaning they’ll be a bit snug unless you order a size up from your usual.

I like the pale colors on this shirt. The drab greenish sort of color is a bit unusual and will stand out both in your closet and in a crowd. I have a M*A*S*H 4077th shirt in a similar color, and whenever it’s clean it grabs my attention, being the only shirt close to that color hanging up. It’s printed on the back too, so when you’re hunched over the bar everyone can tell you’ve got a pint of Irish motor oil in front of you.

This one’s my favorite of the bunch. It’s sort of a rusty brown, and I love the way the logo has been faded and beaten up. It looks less like a shirt that’s been through wash cycles (some faux aged shirts just look like old shirts) and more like a clean new shirt with a faded image. I think you’ll get a bit more life out of it this way. Pretty fitting for a 249 year old beer.

This is probably my least favorite, but it does have a few good things going for it. It’s the only shirt that actually clearly shows a perfect pint on the front. The larger text makes Guinness easier to read from farther away as well.

If you’re going to get a Guinness shirt to wear for St. Patrick’s Day, this is the one. Not only do you not get pinched, but it shows that you came prepared for the official beverage of the evening. If you’ve got an Irish background like I do, you’re showing a bit of heritage at the same time. Who would have figured one shirt could do so much for you? The toucans with the Guinness on their bills used to be part of Guinness advertisements.

All these shirts are available from t-shirts.com for $20. They have SEVEN other Guinness shirts, one on sale for $10, and one at an outrageous $28. There are also shirts there for Schlitz, Stroh’s, Jack Daniels, Patron, and Molson as well as non-alcoholic beverages like Pepsi, Coke and Sprite.